What makes a divorce a “bad divorce?”

Helene

When people ask why I’m a former trial attorney I usually respond with this question:

“Would you like spending most of your time embroiled in a bad divorce with lawyers people love to hate?”

Enough said? Not always.

Like stopping at an accident with morbid curiosity, some people want to know what causes divorces to go terribly wrong.

What makes a divorce a “divorce bad?” Here are the most common personality types and themes systemic in bad divorces.

The characters

1. Angry spouses

2. Narcissists

3. Cheats, liars and thieves

4. Wealthy spouses

5. Biased judges

6. Bad lawyers

The themes systemic in bad divorces

1. Arguments about the amount and duration of spousal support

2. An unwillingness or inability of a spouse, or both, to separate emotions from law

3. Child custody disputes, whether founded or unfounded

4. Mismanagement of community property during marriage and/or after separation

5. The thrill of the fight

Hello. I’m Helene L Taylor, a California divorce consulting attorney and legal strategist. For nearly 30 years I’ve worked with formidable attorneys and judges in Marin, Los Angeles, Silicon Valley, San Francisco, Napa and Hawaii, and helped thousands negotiate marital settlement agreements. I help clients understand their circumstances in light of the law and develop strategies to resolve separation and divorce issues with compassion and resilience. Speak with me hourly, virtually, and in confidence.

"Helene understands human behavior, and has a gift for deescalating conflict. I felt safe with Helene representing me during a complicated divorce. We've been friends ever since my divorce sixteen years ago." ~Toni Wroolie, PhD, Clinical Associate Professor, Psychiatry, Stanford University Medicine

"When I realized that I was getting a divorce I knew I needed to find a guide. She’d need to be smart, soulful, kind, and know her way around the legal system like nobody’s business. I loved working with Helene because she covered all of those bases beautifully, and she made it possible for me to move through my divorce with peace of mind and confidence" ~Laurie Wagner, 27powers.org

"Helene gently challenged me to consider which outcome would be best for my daughter and I, and gave me the courage and consistency I needed to pursue it successfully. I learned so much about myself as a result. Helene's is a compassionate and strategic approach. On a personal level, Helene is exceptionally positive and inspiring. I feel blessed to have received Helene's help through a challenging divorce during the pandemic." ~NC, Mother, Los Angeles Small Business Owner