Divorce is a taxing endeavor for almost everyone. It’s exponentially worse for those in high conflict cases divorcing difficult spouses.
For those whose spouses are unable to control their impulses and say things like, “You don’t deserve to get anything” or, “I want sole legal and physical custody of our child” or “I own the house – you do not,” the verbal abuse can take an exacting physical toll. For others whose options are painfully limited, the uncertainty and insecurity that cause unrelenting anxiety and depression can lead to addiction or paralysis. For all who are ending their marriages or partnerships, it’s essential to find ways to keep a healthy mind during divorce.
As a divorced woman and divorce mediator and attorney of nearly 30 years, one of the ways I keep a healthy mind is listening to the conversations On Being with Krista Tippett.
What is On Being? On Being “opens up the animating questions at the center of human life: What does it mean to be human, and how do we want to live? These questions are explored in their richness and complexity in 21st-century lives and endeavors. They also pursue wisdom and moral imagination as much as knowledge; esteem nuance and poetry as much as fact.”
Who is Krista Tippett? A pretty brilliant gal with a gorgeous voice, which makes listening and learning easy. Officially,
Krista Tippett is a Peabody Award-winning broadcaster and New York Times bestselling author. In 2014, she received the National Humanities Medal at the White House for “thoughtfully delving into the mysteries of human existence…She studied history at Brown University and went to Bonn, West Germany in 1983 on a Fulbright Scholarship to study politics in Cold War Europe. She also is the granddaughter of a Southern Baptist minister and pursued a M.Div. from Yale.
Here are a few of the episodes I’ve listened to recently.
Science of Mindlessness and Mindfulness with social psychologist and Harvard professor Ellen Langer. She discusses mindfulness pragmatically, not spiritually though I don’t think you can separate the two.
Seeing the Underside and Seeing God: Tattoos, Tradition and Grace with Nadia Bolz-Weber who breaks religious molds and actually kind of makes the Lutheran faith sexy – seriously. She’s a pastor or pastrix, founder of the church, House for All Sinners and Saints, and the author of Pastrix: The Cranky, Beautiful Faith of a Sinner & Saint. Even if religion isn’t your thing, Nadia’s interesting.
These are the episodes I’m going to listen to next.
The Biology of the Spirit by Sherwin Nuland, who “reflects on the meaning of life by way of scrupulous and elegant detail about human physiology.” Wow. Who doesn’t want to know what it all means and why we’re here? Sherwin Nuland “was a clinical professor of surgery at Yale University, where he also taught bioethics and medical history.” He won the National Book Award for How we Die – and now he knows how we die. He died recently at age 83.
I find solace and inspiration when I tune into the brilliant contributors and topics On Being.
The discussions and teachers redirect my attention from business towards understanding what it means to be human and examining how I want to live. They have led me to make big changes in my life so I live it the way I want to, which is a bit unconventional and requires great courage.
Even while writing this post I feel I’ve just glanced out a window onto what matters most.
I highly recommend On Being and throwing in a little music and dancing in between. They’re all good for freeing the mind and feeding the soul.
And if you have a ridiculous spouse whose jamming-up your California divorce process and you want solutions, you’re in luck.
Finding solutions to difficult divorce problems is exactly what I do. With divorce consulting and mediation options available, I can lend a hand in the heat of the moment and help usher you through the weeks ahead, whichever you need.