How to Ask your spouse to use divorce mediation

Even if you’re fighting like cats or suspect your spouse has a narcissistic personality disorder, you still may resolve complicated issues peacefully through divorce mediation.

Written agreements signed in mediation are enforceable as court judgments under California Code of Civil Procedure section 664.6, which essentially means, your words can carry the same weight as a judge’s orders.

If you want to mediate your divorce but don’t know if your spouse will agree, here is a list of benefits you can discuss when asking your spouse to use divorce mediation.

1. Mediation is ordinarily less expensive than litigation. If you negotiate issues like child custody, child and spousal support, and property division you can avoid significant court costs and legal fees.

2. Mediation is private. You can discuss personal business in the comfort of a private office with a mediator instead of a public courtroom with countless strangers.

3. You control the outcome of your case. You can collectively resolve all issues in your divorce, provided your state’s laws permit your choices. You don’t have to surrender control to a judge who, knowing very little about you, will make decisions about your future.

4. You can expedite the divorce. If you avoid lengthy discovery, motions, hearings and trials your case move forward rapidly and, ideally, be resolved quickly.

5. You can avoid the adversarial nature of litigation. You can work together and preserve a friendship that lasts long after your divorce is final.

6. You can establish custody, visitation, and a mutually acceptable co-parenting agreement. You can discuss education, religion, and extra–curricular activities, and establish the framework for making future decisions about your child’s well being.

Mediation is my preferred method of dispute resolution for those who are legally separating, getting divorced or dissolving domestic partnerships. If your spouse agrees to use divorce mediation, a skilled mediator can turn the tides and help settle your case efficiently and affordably.