How to communicate with your spouse during divorce

During divorce conversations between spouses often get tense, teary or impossible to manage.

Which is unfortunate because communicating with your spouse to resolve your divorce issues is necessary.

And if you have children together, well, you’ll likely need to converse in some way forever.

Not always easy and frequently difficult.

Thankfully in our digital age there are so many ways to communicate with your spouse.

Here is a list of your options, some of the pros and cons of each and a few tips.

1. U.S. Mail

PROS: You can say anything to your spouse without seeing each other or speaking in person.
CONS: Your letter may be used as evidence in your divorce.
TIPS: Never write a letter that could hurt your divorce case.

2. Email

PROS: You can say anything to your spouse whenever you want without seeing each other or speaking in person and he/she can respond instantaneously.
CONS: You may become obsessed with your email account, checking it constantly for a response, and your email may be used as evidence in your divorce.
TIPS: Choose your words very carefully and leave emotion, blame and potentially damaging statements out of your message.   Remember Mel Gibson.

3. Telephone

PROS: You can have a dialogue with your spouse and receive immediate feedback.
CONS: You have to speak with your spouse.
TIPS: Keep your conversations business like and be ready and able to say “NO” if necessary.

4. In person

PROS: You can have a dialogue with your spouse and if you come to an agreement during your discussion, you can put it in writing and your spouse can sign and date the document.
CONS: You have to see and speak with your spouse.
TIPS: Meet in a neutral place and avoid emotional or angry confrontations.

5. Through your divorce lawyers

PROS: Your lawyer can do the dirty work and you don’t have to see or speak with your spouse.
CONS: It will cost you $$$.
TIPS: Don’t ask your lawyer to communicate with your spouse’s lawyer about trivial matters or if you must, prepare a list of issues that can be dealt with at once to reduce the number of times your lawyer must call or write letters and bill you.

Once you’ve selected the best method for communicating focus on what you need to say and how to deliver the message in the most conscious and effective way possible.

It takes practice and guidance helps. If you would like my guidance while communicating with your spouse during divorce, please complete the confidential form below to see I may serve you.

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