You’re smart, compassionate, kind, resourceful, self-starting, open-minded, and persistent.
You may be a parent, CEO, entrepreneur, attorney, doctor, actor, finance manager, scientist, homemaker, teacher, author, coach, consultant or retiree.
Normally, you rise to any challenge and chew on problems until they’re solved. The kid’s science project you learned about last night? No problem. Environmental and social issues? You’re a tireless advocate making a difference in the world.
But there’s one hurdle you don’t want to, or can’t seem to face with confidence: Divorce.
Divorce is the elephant you’ve tip-toed around for months, maybe years. Or, divorce is a sore topic of conversation that makes your temper flare or heart sink. Divorce is keeping you up at night and weighing you down because you keep asking yourself questions like,
- What do I do now?
- Should I hire an attorney?
- Can I keep the house?
- How will the kids react?
- Will I receive spousal support?
- Do I have to go back to work?
- What if if we can’t agree to terms?
- Who can I trust to give me sound advice?
- Where can I find answers to my questions
You may have spoken to therapists, wholeheartedly taken their advice yet, find yourself in a state of despair. Maybe you’ve done research, found scant data online and still, have countless unanswered questions.
You toy with the idea of speaking to a lawyer, but you’ve heard horror stories about legal fees and worry that somehow, someway, a consultation will lead to conflict, misunderstanding and debilitating warfare. Maybe you met a mediator who sent you away with instructions that didn’t make sense: “You should go home and talk about these issues with your spouse.”
Now, you’re frustrated, scared, confused, overwhelmed, annoyed, paralyzed, angry, spinning your wheels or eager to move on. You want control of your life, family, finances and future. You don’t want to be gouged by strangers, perceived as weak or overly aggressive. You want to resolve divorce issues with strength and grace, and create a new life you love.
I get it. I got divorced as a young student with one year of law school under my belt and almost quit law school twice in the process. And, as a former San Francisco family law trial attorney and mediator who has represented accomplished leaders and multimillionaires, I’ve met hundreds of men and women undermined by divorce, whether a result of their spouse’s unexpected decisions to divorce, aggressive plays to leave them penniless or chameleon-like behavior (e.g. going from ten to fifty percent timeshare with the kids or saying “don’t worry about money, we’re financially sound” to “get a job, we’re broke.”)
Grappling with difficult emotional issues while separating and getting legally divorced brings up important questions like,
- Is it possible to make good choices while feeling vulnerable and exhausted?
- Can you maintain or regain peace of mind during a time of upheaval and uncertainty?
- Is there a skillful way to solve complex legal problems without being contentious or aggressive?
- Can you create a new life you love?
The answer to all of the above is yes.
Over the last twenty-three years, I’ve learned there are three keys to making good choices, finding peace, solving complex separation and divorce issues, and creating a new life you love. The keys, which I teach and guide clients to use, are:
- Mindset Mastery
- Case Management
- Legal Problem Solving Methodology
Think about it. If you can’t master your mind, don’t manage your time and case, and don’t know how to solve complex legal problems, then odds are, you’ll bumble along. But master those things, and with strength and grace you can:
- Avoid costly common mistakes
- Identify, prioritize, and take steps to divorce – ideally, peacefully
- Negotiate with difficult spouses or trust fund beneficiaries
- Prepare for negotiations, mediation and settlement conferences
- Find mediators, private judges and other experts
- Decide whether to stay-in the house, move-out, rent, sell and/or buy
- Establish the values of real estate, businesses and unique assets
- Manage day-to-day practical and legal tasks
- Make choices that are aligned with your values or rooted in your faith
- Decide whether, when and where to file for legal separation or divorce
- Respond to your spouse’s/partner’s decision to separate or divorce
- Gather financial, employment and other records
- Characterize assets, debts, income, and expenses as separate or community property
- Trace separate property for purposes of reimbursement
- Determine a community property interest in a separate property asset (Moore/Marsden)
- Make and respond to settlement offers and/or counter offers
So where do you begin? Whether you’re doing-it-yourself, working with a mediator or lawyer, contemplating divorce or in the midst of a difficult case, you may, without paying a high retainer or making a long-term commitment, begin by speaking to me.
California Divorce Consulting and Coaching Services
Divorce Planning Session – If you are contemplating, or a decision has been made to legally separate or divorce, you must create a plan for your divorce. In a 60 or 90 minute session we will begin uncovering relevant facts, legal and logistical issues, and explore options available for resolving potential divorce problems. You will leave the call with knowledge about California’s family laws as they pertain to the facts of your life and a plan outlining steps you may take immediately. Topics covered may include California’s residency requirements, grounds for legal separation and divorce, jurisdiction, venue, date of separation, community property, separate property, spousal support, child custody, child support, the six-month waiting period, mediation, collaboration, financial disclosure requirements, ATROs, and other legal principles.
Un-Stuck Session – If you’ve hit a roadblock or plateau and can’t seem to make progress in your legal separation or divorce, in a 60, 90, and 120 minute session we’ll roll up our sleeves, put our heads together, and search for sources of, and solutions to your problems. I’ll ask questions about your circumstances, give you my initial impressions about apparent sticking points, and make suggestions on how you might get unstuck and moving full speed ahead. Topics covered depend entirely on the facts of your case and nature of your problems. If you’re working with an attorney, I will provide a second opinion.
Book a <a href=”https://calendly.com/heleneltaylor/15mindivorcecoachingsession/”>complimentary 15 minute</a> California divorce consulting session to speak to me ASAP or complete the form below.