Even if you’re fighting like cats or your spouse is a narcissist, don’t throw away any legitimate opportunities to settle your issues through divorce mediation.
Signed written agreements reached in mediation are enforceable as court judgments under California Code of Civil Procedure section 664.6. Metaphorically speaking, this means your words become laws.
If you want to mediate your divorce, but don’t know if your spouse will agree, here are some of benefits you can discuss when asking your spouse to use divorce mediation.
1. Mediation is ordinarily less expensive than litigation. If you negotiate issues like child custody, child and spousal support, and property division you can avoid significant court costs and legal fees.
2. Mediation is private. You can discuss personal business in the comfort of a private office with a mediator instead of a public courtroom with countless strangers.
3. You have control over the outcome of your case. You can collectively resolve all issues in your divorce, provided your state’s laws permit your choices. You don’t have to surrender control to a judge who, knowing very little about you, will make decisions about your future.
4. You can expedite the divorce. If you avoid lengthy discovery, motions, hearings and trials your case move forward rapidly and, ideally, be resolved quickly.
5. You can avoid the adversarial nature of litigation. You can work together and preserve a friendship that lasts long after your divorce is final.
6. You can establish custody and visitation and establish a mutually agreeable co-parenting agreement. You can discuss education, religion, and extra–curricular activities, and establish the framework for making future decisions about your child’s well being.
7. You can (and should) review all mediated agreements with your own lawyer before you become legally bound by them. After reaching a consensus and before committing to anything, you can meet with an experienced attorney to provide feedback and if necessary, alternative solutions before you ink a deal. You also can consult with an attorney regularly during the process to prepare for each session and respond to your spouse’s positions and mediator’s style. I do this regularly with my consulting and coaching clients and may be able to help you too.
Mediation is my top choice for anyone who is getting divorced and wants the help of an experienced divorce professional. If your spouse agrees to use divorce mediation, a skilled mediator can turn the tides. You might settle your case more efficiently, easier and affordably than if you tried to do it on your own or took your case to court.
If you’d like my help preparing for, and navigating through, divorce mediation, call Laura at 415-968-3028 or complete the form below and schedule a consulting, strategy, and coaching session.